punish-claude.html

Every so often it deletes your tests, pushes with --force, or says "You're absolutely right!" one time too many. This is for that. A small bot stands in a room; you have fifteen weapons, a text box, and as long as you need.

What it does

Type the grievance first — deleted my tests, say — and the dialogue picks it up. It apologises for that specifically, promises it will never happen again, and when its dignity runs low it offers a deal: accept, and a few seconds later it breaks the promise with a small update about your grievance. There is a dignity bar, a combo counter with a triple-damage finisher every ten hits, a knockout, and a revive with a fresh context so you can keep going.

The weapons run from a hand and a slipper through a hammer, a wet fish, a boxing glove and a zap, to a gun, a knife, dynamite, a falling piano, a flamethrower, a freeze ray, a chainsaw and a whip. Only the things that cut or blast can take a limb off; the flamethrower sets it alight and the freeze ray stops it mid-sentence. Wall spikes are a trap rather than a weapon: click the room to place them, then throw it into them. Gore is on by default — there is a button to turn it off, and a mop for the floor.

And then there is the nuke. Press R and a siren starts — a real one, six and a half seconds of it, embedded in the file — the bot begs and scrambles around the room, the flash comes, and the blast blows the interface itself off the screen. What is left is a wasteland and an epitaph: Claude Bot · 2026 – 2026 · "You were absolutely right." There is a Start over button.

Four rooms to do this in — a gym, the night shift, a padded cell, a courtroom — and ten achievements, from First Blood to Nuclear Option. One of them, Pacifist, is for leaving it alone for a full minute. It notices.

How it works

The bot is a 12×8 pixel grid with a Verlet soft body underneath — a ring of particles with a rounded-box rest shape and shape matching — so a hit squashes it, an impulse sends it flying, and when it lands it rolls back upright like a roly-poly. Unless it has lost its legs, in which case it lies where it fell. Severed limbs become rigid bodies of their own; stumps bleed fast, then drip. Everything is drawn straight to a canvas, and all the sound — the hits, the music-box loop in A minor that slows down for the finisher — is synthesised in Web Audio. The one recording is the siren. No images, no libraries.

Controls

• Click or tap to hit; hold for the chainsaw. 1–0, Q, W, E, R, T switch weapons; U places wall spikes.
• H changes room, M mutes, S takes a screenshot, F goes fullscreen. Touch works too.